Art, Honor and Janet's Nipples

Ok, once again we as a nation cannot detect the difference between a crucifix in a jar of piss from actual art. Over 20 ABC stations, including my local testicularly challenged affiliate will not air Saving Private Ryan this Veteran's Day. Instead, Hoosiers will be shown, "and now to honor our nations valiant defenders, men and women willing to give they're lives to protect millions of unknown friends, ABC 15 is proud to present Hoosiers." O my God! Has the vision of some effeminate wigga groping Janet jackson's hideously disfigured boob brought us to this? Is the specter of Howard Stern making comments about his morning dump so unconscionable that we must now play crusader to the "art worlds" Saladin? Has this all not gone too far?

Where's the line? Where's the line? I have heard that idiotic argument over and over through the years. Every time some infamous turd brings his/her controversial collection to town for a local exhibit, you have one group of people screaming "hey, it's a picture of some fag with a bullwhip in his butt. That's obscene!" and of course you have the other side screaming "who are you to say what art is? Why do you get to draw the line between obscenity and expression"?! Is there not some way for us to come to an understanding concerning expression? Can't we all agree that for Richard Prior, using the "F word" was a part of who he was as a comedian, and though we may have blushed, we still laughed? Is that not art? Can we not also agree that Bill Cosby making wholesome jokes about being a father and husband, without ever uttering course or foul words was also brilliantly funny? Both men were, and are great artists. What about nudity? Is there not a difference between naked cherubs in some renaissance painting, and hundreds of idiots laying in Time Square wearing nothing but goose bumps while some freak snaps a picture for a coffee table book? Is there no difference between David's marble unit, and Ron Jeremy's slab of beef? Of course there is. Now, am I proposing we outlaw porn? No, just don't try to passing porn off as art.

O be careful Gator, you're drawing the line. Of course I am! We have all gotten so crazy over dorks like Bono dropping the "F-bomb" on live TV, that we can't allow the viewing of a modern masterpiece concerning the second world war, and why? Because of the same word. It all boils down to cursing. That's why over 20 ABC affiliates will not air Saving Private Ryan on Veteran's Day. Well, excuse me for being so blunt, but a spoiled rich pansy, who stopped making music of any meaning a decade and a half ago saying fuck, is vastly different from a young, scared soldier, holding a dying friend, on a cold beach, six thousand miles form home exclaiming the same word. Do I think that the networks should air Pulp Fiction in prime-time? No, but then I'm bold enough to admit that two characters discussing the finer points of cunnilingus, just before committing cold-blooded murder, and characters using foul language, because they are dying in a far away land, separated from all that they love and cherish is not the same. I'm reminded of a line from A Pair of Brown Eyes, A song by The Pogues;

"In blood and death 'neath a screaming sky I lay down on the ground And the arms and legs of other men Were scattered all around Some cursed, some prayed, some prayed then cursed Then prayed and bled some more..."

Think, just think. Common sense is common ground. Movies like Saving Private Ryan and Schindler's List are important works of art. Not important in the cinematic sense. They did not necessarily change the nuts and bolts of movie making, but important because of what they convey. Those who lived through those horrific times, have validated theses movies as accurate portrayals of that part of human history. I remember vividly the vision of an elderly lady gently stroking her weeping husbands arm as the theater lights came up following Saving Private Ryan. Stamp of authenticity? Yeah I'd say so. Art, just as History is at times an ugly and brutish thing, yet for ABC to deny viewers this beautifully ugly story is tragic.

-Shamrock